Navigating Girl World

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How many friends do you have? And how long have you known them? Friends are great. They can egg you on to do that thing you have wanted to do all your life but have been too afraid to do, like travel the world, and they can stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life, like buying that snot-green top that you just walked out of the dressing room wearing.

I love my friends. I've said that before. I have many friends, all in different social circles. I have met them all at different times in my life, in different ways. My best friend in the whole world, for example, I met in primary school. I have another close friend who is my ex boyfriend's sister. Other friends I met online in parenting forums and online mum's groups. 

All of my friends, with the exception of my bestie, have children. You would think that this would mean they would understand when things got a little hectic right?

Wrong.

The last couple of months have been a little... we'll just say chaotic. You have seen a lot of the aftermath on the blog, but just in case you aren't one of my regular readers yet, I'll give you a little summary. I have recently taken on tafe, a casual job, a (relatively new) relationship and have been going through mediation to keep custody of my son. Needless to say, my time (and funds) have been fairly limited. As much as I love my friends, I just can't see everyone at once, and I don't have as much time for everyone as I used to. Unfortunately that has resulted in a bit of bitchiness and de-friending on Facebook.

Like, seriously? De-friending?

When did things get that bad? A forgotten message here and there and a cancelled play date so I can get some study done and I have lost friends? There must be some kind of mistake, right? Well, I don't know. I have seen this all happen before. Granted, I was in high school when this kind of behavior last reared it's ugly head, but sure enough here I am, in my twenties being (ever so slightly) told that "if you don't give up everything for me, then I'm not your best friend anymore". I have never felt so ridiculous in my entire life.

I love watching TV shows of kids in high school. I watched The OC and Laguna Beach through my teen years, and loved the drama and bitchiness that went on between the girls. It meant that what I went through in school was pretty much the norm. Well, it must of been, if it was happening on TV, Yes??? But life went on. I grew up, and although I still love watching both of those shows (my guilty pleasure), I assumed that the bitchiness would stop now that we are older, and mothers.

Boy was I naive.

So I am just going to go about my business I suppose, hoping that I don't lose any more friends along the way. With regards to my other friends, if they bail just because I get a little (OK, a lot!) busy, then they don't deserve to be in the presence of my awesomeness when things start to settle down again!

How often do you see your friends?

Do you still see lots of bitchiness in "girl world"?

Linking up with Twinkle in the Eye and With Some Grace!

Linking up with Jess for IBOT!

A Few Changes... and What Do You Want?

OK, so I am experiencing what they call writers block. It is unusual that I would not have anything to say, but I really don't. Over the next couple of months I will be taking the blog in a bit of a different direction. My life is changing, evolving, if you prefer to use fancy terminology. I am no longer a "single mum". In a few months time I will no longer be living at home with my parents. I will be a part of a family again. I will also be able to start getting my organising groove on, as I will have my own space to organise again.

Of course, Me and My Munchkin will remain a blog about parenting, family life, and chaos. Why would I change the things my loyal readers have been coming here for? I will just be adding in some new "features".

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So I guess what I am hoping from you today, is a few suggestions about what you would love to see at Me and My Munchkin? I want this to be a space where you like to come, where you can laugh at my insanities, but yet perhaps still learn a thing or 2.

So please, do tell. What do you want to see? Organising posts, recipes, menu planning, parenting tips, reviews and giveaways? You tell me, and over the next couple of months, watch Me and My Munchkin transform. I'm so excited to share it all with you!

Linking up this Friday with With Some Grace and Twinkle in the Eye!

Feeling the Pinch

Note: I am a huge believer in things happening for a reason. Within a couple of hours of publishing this post, I had a call from the manager of one of the other stores in the company I worked for previously. They had me in the store late this morning signing paperwork so that I can start work next week as a night filler. Casual hours and close to home. Good to see my little whinge had some effect!

I don't really know how to find the words for this post. I don't even really know what it's about. I have just completed mediation with regards to custody of Master A and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by everything.

I have been a wreck for the last week leading up to this day. Cranky, snappy and tense (a big thanks to Mr M for putting up with me!) I was not really sure what to expect and nervous that things wouldn't go to plan.

Things didn't really go to plan. 

But that's OK. I'm OK. It means that things are set now, and we have a plan of action. But then everything else slots in around it to make me tense. I have been searching for a job for around a month now. After countless job applications and emails stating "The quality of applicants were very high and unfortunately, you did not make the shortlist..." I am starting to feel the pinch, both emotionally and financially. My self esteem is being shot to pieces and my purse is feeling ever so light these days.

Mr M and I have decided to move in together in the new year. This will mean lots of posts on moving, organising and decorating (can you say excited?) of course though it also means that I will need to speed up my process of looking for work. My experience is limited, though not non-existent, however my availability is extremely limited, and making things so much harder.

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So, my mind is feeling a little mushy right now, all of these new dates and figures and responsibilities floating around in my head.

I have seven weeks left of Tafe on a Tuesday night. I have Master A staying overnight at his dad's once a month until January, then it becomes every second weekend. There is less than ten weeks to Christmas, and we start looking for a house to live in. I have to this time to try and find a job, and get back at an even point in my finances (and complete my Christmas shopping) and attempt to have some savings behind me for my car decides to eventually shit itself (excuse the language but my car has been a major source of financial strain these past few months!)

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I am hoping that I can push through all of this and come out on the other side, much better off. I only have to make it through the next 2 months...

Linking up with Twinkle in the Eye and With Some Grace

Slowing Down

I have always admired country towns. They have such a sense of character and community, and it always feels so different to living in the busy city.

Mr M and I took an overnight trip down to the Fleurieu Peninsula on the weekend to visit his family. I organised to leave Master A with my parents for the night (doing a little happy dance) packed up the car and started on the hour and a half drive down south.

Goolwa Beach

When I got there the first thing I noticed was the gorgeous beaches. Much rougher than the beaches where I live, they are surf beaches. Now I have seen Jaws way too many times to go jumping into waters like this, but it was fun and maybe a little romantic to walk along the shore hand in hand, my head on his shoulder... ok so it wasn't like that, but it certainly was nice.

The second thing I noticed when meeting Mr M's family for the first time, was how relaxed they all are. I start every day in full-on-mode. From the moment I wake til the moment I go to bed it is go, go, go.

"Need to make sure that this is done before dinner."

"Have to go to the shops and get this before they close."

"Make sure I don't forget to do this or the whole world might end."

When was the last time I just pottered around the house or garden, having a BBQ with family and friends, taking the dog for a stroll down the beach, just generally enjoying life and having fun?

I'll let you in on a little secret. Now, don't get too shocked, but I am a total stress head. I worry about everything, and I go through life at about 110km an hour. As I watched people go about their daily lives in such relaxed ways it made me realize how much I want that kind of lifestyle, for me and Master A.

It scares me just how much Master A is like me. He's clumsy, loves to talk and definitely has a sweet tooth, all just like his Mummy. One thing that I would rather he didn't inherit from me, would be my stressed out attitude. I want him to take the time to enjoy life, not rush through it like he has to race to the next finish line.

"Why are you rushing everywhere? The world isn't going to close!"

I could not remember where I read that quote if my life depended on it, but it was the very wise words of a child no older than about six. Why is it that we learn to grow up and spend our "down time" rushing around, trying to get everything finished? Why do we spend so much time at the shops, buying things?

One thing I noticed was that at 9pm on Saturday night, the only thing open in the town was one of the few service stations. All of the shops, service stations, Subway were all closed. Yet the McDonalds where I live is open 24 hours.

The people that I had the pleasure of spending the weekend with seemed to take the attitude of "work to live" rather than "live to work". It's all about the family.

The beautiful Horseshoe Bay

I guess my question is, when did we become such a busy and stressed society that can't even take the time to have a lazy breakfast with family on a Sunday morning, and how do I convert my behaviour, in order to save myself and my child from a life of stress, speed and demands?

When was the last time you had a mini-getaway?
Do you rush through life, or take the time to take "romantic" walks along the beach?

Linking up with the ever so fabulous Jess for IBOT

The Motivation Journal

Do you remember the old high school journal?

You know:
"Dear diary,
Today Thomas looked at me. He actually noticed I was there!"

Aahhh, the good old days of simplicity. When your most complicated issue was making sure you had studied for your maths test or that your best friend had stopped talking to you.

Either way, I know that my journal got me through so much of it all. Recently, I started a motivation journal. I guess in a way it's like the good old high school journal, but it's purpose, is to give me a kick in my procrastinating butt and make me take action.

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I struggle with motivation. I'm the first to admit I can be a little lazy at times. I am also easily overwhelmed. This is when I'm least likely to take action. So when I have an issue, or a big project, I sit down with my motivation journal and think it out, I make plans.

This is also where I keep my "vision pages". I don't have space for a vision board, so in its place I cut out pictures of things I want and glued them in to my motivation journal. I feel so young doing some cutting and pasting!

On Me and My Munchkin's Facebook page I used to post one thing I was grateful for on a daily basis. That dwindled away when I got busy or forgot to post, so although I don't do it on Facebook, I still try to get in my journal at least once a week and make a list of things I'm grateful for. My most recent list was things about me that are great. I've been having a few problems with self love the last few weeks, so this was perfect.

The motivation journal is very similar to a regular journal, but I make sure it's much more positive. I found with previous journals they could be very negative, only speaking of problems. I make sure to include things I'm excited about, wishes for the future, and if I have an issue to write about, I always make sure that I write a possible solution to the problem.

So do I have you convinced? Want your own motivation journal? My only advice is to make sure you pick out a pretty notebook to use. I always find it so much easier to write when the journal is pretty!

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Did you keep a journal in high school?
Do you keep one now?

It's Friday so I am flogging my blog over with the lovely Grace at With Some Grace, head over there for even more awesome bloggers!

Bitter to Bad Ass in 12 Months!

After looking at my diary I realized that today marks 12 months since I became a single Mum. Yes I know, I know, not exactly an achievement to be boasting about (how to lose a guy in 10 days, anyone?) but it does mean that I now have 12 months of growing and extreme shocks to the system under my belt.

Look at it this way, 12 months ago I was unhappy, wallowing in self pity and bitterness, balancing on the borderline between depression and auto pilot mode. I was lonely, kidding myself by saying I was ready to move on (and yes, move on is exactly what I did). I was feeling so guilty about leaving my ex, breaking his heart and taking his son away from him. By the way, I should really add that I'm really not a bitch, generally speaking!

Me 12 months ago

I have done so much growing in the last year I hardly recognize that girl anymore. I say girl deliberately. I was not acting like a grown up. I have been forced to grow up now. I no longer have anyone to fall back on. Yes I have support, and it is great. But when it comes to my son, I'm his mother, I'm his primary carer and it is my responsibility to look after his best interests.

I know how excited you all to hear about how different I am today so here it is: I take responsibility for my actions. When I make a decision Master A is the first thing that crosses my mind. After a year long battle with my ex that has turned nasty, I no longer feel guilty, as he shows that he has no respect for me. I became comfortable in my own company, even enjoying it. It was then that I met Mr M. He has added joy to my life, but he hasn't "completed" it. I have finally left the past exactly where it needed to be: In the past! This is something that has taken me 5 years to do. Most of all, I am happy! Of course, I have my days where it all gets too much. Who doesn't? Seriously, do you know anyone that doesn't? But the point is, I am much happier, and grown up since being on my own, and that is what tells me I made the right decision.

Me 12 days ago

Where were you emotionally 12 months ago?
Have you ever looked at your past self and not recognized them?
How about someone you know? Or thought you knew?

A Letter to 17 Year Old Me

Dear 17 year old me,

It's ok. Really, it is. You don't need to know the answers to the world. You don't need to stress about the future. The future will happen, whether or not you get worked up about it. And while you're at it, don't be in such a rush to grow up. Take your time and enjoy it. Live dangerously and have some fun. The responsibility will still be there later on.

Don't worry about getting your heart broken. Yes you've been with him for years but he really isn't the right guy for you. It will take you a few years and yes, more heart breaks before you find someone who's right for you. But never be afraid to be alone. You will get to that point I promise.

Find things that you love to do. And do them well. It will take you awhile before you find a career that you love. Yes, you will fail, but you will also succeed. As the saying goes, dust yourself and try again.

PLEASE learn more about style. Even in your twenties you still have no idea and dress like a slob 9/10 times!

If I only had one thing I could tell you, save your pennies! Adapt a no-shopping life, and for gods sake, stay away from credit cards and personal loans!

Finally, believe in yourself. You CAN do it, you ARE smart and you only need to apply yourself to whatever it is you are doing to succeed. Work hard, play harder and be good to your family and friends because you will need their support one day.

Sincerely,
Twenty-something year old you.

A 17-year-old me

Linking up with Jess at Diary of a SAHM for IBOT!

Guest Post: Household Contribution Schedule + Free Printable!

When there’s a job to do … there’s just a job to do!

If there is one life-lesson that I want to teach my kids before they leave my nest it is WORK ETHIC.

I want for them to experience the pride and satisfaction that comes with a job well done. I want for them to have the knowledge and belief that working hard brings pay offs – sometimes these are external rewards but much more often they are warm and fuzzy ones.

This all starts at home.

Work ethic is not always an easy principle for us, as parents, to teach and nor is it a given that kids will readily learn. We do have to try though, don’t we, and at our place organisation and persistence are key strategies.

I try to think of our household as a mini society. It’s a little world within the world and a place that can only function smoothly when each citizen aka family member fulfils their responsibilities. To do this, I have replaced the traditional “chore chart” with an outline of what each family member is expected to contribute to the running of the household. It’s then my hope that the kids will learn that the privileges they enjoy are not God-given rights, but rather the reward resulting from contributing to running of the family.

I’ve attached a sample chart – very similar to the one on display in our kitchen ;) – that shows how our schedule works. I’ve tried to make it very clear that contributing to the functioning of the household is a given and is expected by adults and kids alike.

In keeping it real, I’ll readily admit that we are on draft upteen-thousand of this and as the kids grow, and our household routines alter, I make tweaks and changes where necessary. Sometimes these changes are in consultation with the kids – but nope, not always. I figure they may as well learn now that there will always be times in their lives where they just have to do what they have to do. Whether they like it, or not, sometimes it’s just suck-it-up-time.

When nominating what I expect each child to contribute to the household, there are a number of factors I keep in mind ….

1. Age appropriateness – increasing the number and/or complexity of contributions as the kids grow and mature (and likewise the privileges are upped accordingly)
2. Geared towards success – never so many things to do it’s overwhelming, nor are tasks too difficult
3. Leading by example to ensure I also contribute what I’ve committed to
4. Discussing the expectations to make sure they are clearly communicated and understood
5. Honouring the privileges and rewards and consistently following through with consequences when contributions are not made.

Do your kids chip in and help around the house? Do you have a chore chart or have you just made them aware of what you require them to do? Would love to hear how your household works!

View my sample Household Schedule here.

Download your own Household Schedule here.

Author Note:

Shari Brewer is an educator, writer and the blogger at http://www.familysurvivalcoach.com . It’s a place for exploring a whole range of household and family stuff and topics include – budgeting, reviews, family stories, organisation and more.

Just remember that it’s really about surviving it all!

Linking up with Diary of a SAHM for IBOT

A Trip to the Zoo

On Saturday we made a trip to the Adelaide Zoo. It was the first time I had been in over 10 years, so I think that quite possibly, I was even more excited than Master A about going to see the animals!

Getting a bit freaked out in the children's zoo

Watching the "fish" (sea lions)

A big cuddly looking bear

Our favorite animal, the beautiful giraffe

The Panda bears

Exhausted on the way home, clutching his new crocodile

Linking up for the first time ever for Wordless Wednesdays with Twinkle in the Eye and My Little Drummer Boys.

Yes, I Cheated... And it Feels Terrible!

So Friday night was yet another finals round in the AFL. Being a Port Power supporter, it's been awhile since I have watched a finals game from start to finish. Or even paid attention to who's where on the ladder once the finals rounds start.

Then of course I had to start dating an Adelaide Crows supporter. Not only do I have to listen to jokes about how bad Power played this season (actually and the last couple of seasons!) but I'm expected to tag along to the Crows games and cheer for them.

Now it would be so easy for me to just say "Screw the Power! They're losers! I'm gonna barrack for the winning South Australian team!" but I am loyal and I stand by my boys, no matter how bad they are playing.

Needless to say, going along to my 2nd Crows game felt a little like cheating. I have gone against what feels normal and wanted the Crows to win their last few games, so that I have a happy boyfriend. But expecting me to come to the games is surely asking too much right?

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I went to my first Crows game a little over a month ago. I sat in silence, mostly because I was freezing cold and WAY underdressed (I was in jeans, a long sleeved top, a hoodie and knee high boots!) but also because I just couldn't bring myself to cheer for them. It felt wrong.
I tried to get out of going to the game on Friday, which incidentally was against the same team as the first game I attended but Mr M was hell-bent on me going (something about me being a lucky charm because they won the first game I attended).

I downed a can of Red Bull on the way to AAMI Stadium, thinking of it as a chance to get out of the house for the night. I sat in our undercover seats, this time wearing fleecy track pants and a big thick jacket, and I waited for the game to start. Mr M next to me was, of course, totally excited. His Mum and sister next to us, just as excited.

I made a promise to myself right there and then that I would make an effort to cheer for the Crows that night. I hoped they would win, because I knew that it would make Mr M happy. And of course we all know that a happy man means we all win!

My efforts did not go unnoticed. I was commended (and maybe made fun of just a little bit) for cheering for "the right team". I have to admit though, I felt like I needed to shower when I got home and as though I had done the dirty on my football team! But I had one happy man, and I got some brownie points for making the effort!

Do you ever go against what feels right just to make your man happy?
What AFL team do you support?

It's Tuesday so I'm linking up with Diary of a SAHM for IBOT

Lists, Lists and More Lists!

I have been talking lately about being a little time poor, and having awful not so good time management skills. Well, I have been tackling these issues the last few weeks, and I must say, so far I am pretty proud of my results.

The first thing I did, was start writing lists (oh lists how I love thee!)

I started with a list of what needs to be done on a daily and weekly basis. My daily list included things like meals, exercise, washing, and preparation for the next day. The weekly list included grocery shopping, changing the beds, housework, etc.

After that I mapped out Master A's schedule. He already wakes, naps, has dinner and goes to bed at the same time each day, I just needed to add in a time to make sure we are ready for the day by, and morning and afternoon teas (more info on Master A's food and meals to come in a later post).

I then did a list of Monday to Sunday and scheduled each job that needs to be done (including studying and blogging, which are my real issues right now) into a day. Friday is my housework day, Wednesday I need to do some reading for Tafe and some blogging, etc. I don't have set times for these. With Master A's age, it really is too difficult to schedule my time and jobs around him.

The last lists I made were morning, day and night routines. I have aimed for us to be dressed, ready to face the day by 8:30am. The morning routine tells me what needs to be done for that to happen. I should mention that as of next week, I will be getting up an hour earlier than Master A to get myself dressed, have a healthy breakfast and have his all ready to go for when he wakes.

The day routine consists of things like ensuring a load of washing goes on in the morning, going for a walk after Master A wakes from his nap, or after lunch and making sure dinner is prepared for the night.

The night routine is pretty straight forward. The only things I have changed is to add a quick tidy of Master A's room and unpacking his bag and repacking for the next day.

As you can see I typed these up in word and printed them out for convenience (and just coz they looked prettier!)

I am now trying to tackle my procrastination issues. Not so much of my day spent on Facebook or sitting around watching TV, which I have been so bad for since the renovations started in our kitchen.

I have a plan for the day in my motivation journal - more on this later this week and I make sure I make time for the fun things with Master A.

Do you have routines in your house?
If you are a work at home/study at home mum, how do you balance your time and still get time out?

And of course because it's Friday I am linking up for the first time in a few weeks with the gorgeous Grace over at With Some Grace for Flog Yo Blog Friday...

... And also the beautiful Bree over at Twinkle in the Eye for Flash Blog Friday!

Where I've Been

Ok, so the last month or so I have cut right back on blogging. I have had a little break from lots of things. I have cut back on my time spent with friends, studying, and have been spending a lot more one on one time with Master A, and also putting time into my new relationship.

So where am I at? I am still behind in Tafe, but have come to the conclusion that I can only do what I can do. I am struggling financially, coming up to the jolly season. I am slowly still trying to de-clutter when I can, and trying to take some me time.

So what can you expect from me over the next few months? I am going to make an attempt to post more often again. I have some awesome posts coming your way. Including how I have organised my days and weeks, my motivation journal, and our morning routine.

I told you I would come back, and here I am!

We're back!!

The Dating Game

My regular followers, and those on my personal Facebook page would know that I have started dating again. Being a single Mum in the dating world isn't easy, but luckily, I seem to have found a winner and that makes it so much easier!

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I dated someone briefly at the beginning of the year, though found I just wasn't ready, and the relationship fizzled right out before it was given a chance. Looking back now, I'm glad it did, because that person was definitely not right for me!

This time around I'm much happier. I'm happier with myself, and confident that I can enter into a relationship without issues.

The hard part? Trying to start a relationship with someone when you have your son virtually full time. 

Master A does not currently spend nights with his Dad, just 3 days a fortnight. Because of this, Master A was introduced a little earlier than I had hoped, but I made do. I am extremely lucky that my Mum is so helpful with babysitting. I have a theory that she is thinking if I can develop a relationship, maybe I'll move out!

The new man in my life has made a huge effort with Master A, right from day one. He plays with him, talks to him and includes him, without forcing it. Believe me, this makes all the difference. Sadly, I have seen men who just can't accept that the woman they are seeing has another mans child. 

So what have I found hard about dating with a young child? Staying out late after a date is not possible. Impromptu sleepovers are non existant. Actually, sleepovers of any kind just don't happen. Privacy is an issue. Living with my folks, I have none at my house! And I always feel I need to check with them before having him over for dinner - yep, it's like high school all over again!

Even with all these obstacles, I could not be happier, and love that I have found someone who understands, and is willing to stay in and watch TV with me instead of heading out every weekend. I've been terribly lucky (can you tell we're still in the honeymoon stage?) and I am hopeful it all works out.

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Father's Day for the Solo Parent

Father's day is coming up, which for lots of fathers means a hot breakfast in bed, accompanied by some kind of power tool gift, or perhaps just some socks and jocks. Mother's day can be very much the same (if we're lucky!) but with some kind of new kitchen appliance or a new pair of uggies.

Solo parents means all rules are thrown out when it comes to Mother's and Fathers days. If the other parent is still even around, you need to decide whether you will do gifts, and how much you will spend.

We are about to come up to the 12 month mark of when Master A's dad and I split up. We split about 2 weeks before his dad's birthday, so I was happy to buy a copy of the new Big Bang Theory season on DVD for him. For Christmas we exchanged small gifts and agreed to keep exchanging gifts "from Master A" for things like birthdays, Mothers and Fathers days and Christmas.

I wanted to keep this up, to teach Master A about the importance of giving, and that Mummy and Daddy can still be friendly and do the right thing.

My birthday came next, and my present was nowhere to be seen. It came about 4 weeks later. Yes, I was a little annoyed seeing as I did make an effort to ensure I did the right thing and on time!

My birthday present from Munchkin this year. 4 weeks late but an awesome present! How did he know?

Mother's day came around, and I got a card. Nothing more, nothing less. It was at this point that I told my ex I would no longer participate in gift-giving. If he wanted a gift from Master A, his mother could organise it, and I knew that my Mum would do the same thing for me.

My cards for Mother's Day, including a handmade one from Daycare. Love this boy so much!

Now that Father's day is only a few days away, I have decided that my original wish of teaching Master A the nice thing to do is more important. I have bought a card, gone through hell to get Master A to do a painting for him, and will be heading to JB Hifi tomorrow to get a small value gift card to give him.

I must say that the thought that I am going to look like the bigger person is making me feel a little better about it (yes I know, vein!) but I have come to the conclusion that one of us has to teach Munchkin the right thing to do. It's a small present that hasn't cost me much, and I'm sure he will get a much nicer gift from his girlfriend's child, but it sends the correct message to Master A, and that is the most important thing.

Its Friday so I'm linking up with Bree over at Twinkle in the Eye for Flash Blog Friday...

...And Grace over at With Some Grace for Flash Yo Blog Friday!




Head on over to both and check out some awesome bloggers!

Why do I Deserve Happiness?

I have re-written this post 3 times now. I just can't seem to find the words to say what I need to. I have been doing a bit of soul searching in the last few months. You may have noticed a bit of a pattern in my posts.

I am so happy with where I actually am in life, and this is a first for me. Sure there are a few things I would like to change, but the changes are on the way. I just need to be patient (totally not my strong suit!)

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I grew up with a low self esteem, I'm not really sure why. I have always thought that I am just not worth it and don't deserve happiness. I have never known what it is that I actually want and I thought I would never be happy until I got to where I wanted to be, so you can see my predicament!

It has taken me over 20 years to realise that I deserve to be happy. I am a good person. Sure, I still have those "I'm a bad Mum/friend/daughter/sister" moments, but they don't take over my life. I still get mother's guilt, but I don't let it make me think I am a bad Mum.

So why do I deserve happiness in my life?

I love my family and friends. I would do anything for them. I drop everything if someone's in trouble, or needs to chat. The same goes for my son. I clothe him, feed him, play with him, and I gave up work to stay at home with him when he was sick (this meant giving up finances, and the chance to get out of debt quicker to get my own place).

I am a good person in general. I will help strangers, I am never rude to people unless they are rude to me. I don't stick my nose into other people's business and I am all round just a friendly person. A bit shy, yes, but friendly.

I will work hard, especially when it's something that I love. My standards for myself are way too high, and I am working on bringing them down.

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I deserve happiness in my life. I am finally realising that, and making sure that I am putting the steps in place to be happy.

Have you ever suffered from a low self esteem?
Why do you deserve to be happy?

It is Tuesday, which means I'm linking up Diary of a SAHM for IBOT!

Make sure you head on over and check out some totally awesome bloggers!

Cutting the Emotional Clutter

I have been spending the last couple of months clearing the physical clutter in my home. I started a clean out that you can read about here. It has taken me a little longer than I had hoped, but slowly I am getting there. There is another kind of clutter that I hadn't really thought about until today, that is so much more important.

Emotional clutter.

I am carrying around grudges, hopes and wishes that will never come true, fears and regrets that I need to clear out of my life in order to live happily.

Here is how I am clearing the emotional clutter from my head.

1. Make a list.
Whether it's a to-do list, a to-call list, a to-buy list or a to-organise list. Get those things down on paper, and out of the never ending circle in your head.

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2. Clear out the drama.
If there is one thing I hate, it's drama. I know that I will always have some amount of drama in my life, and that's ok. I have, however worked hard to cut those people out of my life who just simply bring drama with them every day. If I can't cut them out (for instance my sister) I cut myself off from the drama. I refuse to converse about it and remove myself from the situation if I have to.

3. Leave behind the past.
There are people in my past that are best left there. I would love these people in my present and future, but for various reasons, I need to let go of them and leave them behind and move on. The same goes for situations that have happened. Leave them in the past. Don't keep re-living them.

4. Finish what you've started, or let it go.
I have some half finished projects throughout the house (and my life) that I am making plans to finish, or trying to let them go. The same goes for goals. They aren't all appropriate anymore, and I need to decide whether they are still goals of mine.

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5. Learn to let go of what you can't control.
This is something that I am terrible at, but I have made massive progress with in the last year. There are so many situations that I just cannot control, such as having to communicate with Master A's dad, or living at home with my parents. If you can't control the situation, what is the point in worrying about it? If you can't change the direction of the wind, adjust your sails.

6. Take control of the chaos.
When your physical environment is in chaos, you're likely to be stressed and exhausted. Put on a load of washing, sit down and plan out your meals for the rest of the week, make a start on that pile of paperwork sitting on your desk. Give yourself room to breathe. Sit down with a pen and paper and have a think about what it is that you need to be better organised with. For me it's daily and weekly routines. Everything is still a bit up in the air and it's making me stressed. Take control of the chaos, and feel better.

7. Eat healthy and exercise.
How guilty do you feel after devouring your third cupcake? You don't want that guilt. Eat healthy (with treats of course) and exercise daily. I only walk, but find it's a great time to let my mind wander, and the fresh air clears it.

8. Clear out inboxes, in trays and contacts lists
Go through your email and clean it out. Go through your contacts list and delete old and unwanted phone numbers. A big one? Go through your Facebook friends list and clean that out. People you haven't seen since high school that you only friended to have a bit of a nosy, old boyfriends you never talk to, that friend of a friend of a friend that you met that one time out at dinner. What's the point in seeing their day to day lives when you don't even know them anymore?

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9. Dream big.
Write down your hopes and dreams for the future. Make them attainable though. I certainly won't be putting down the hope that someone from my past will all of a sudden show up and want to be a part of my life again! I love doing this every now and then. Where would you like to go for a holiday? What sort of people do you want in your life? Do you like your career, or is it time for a change? From this, you can make goals. And that's where the fun begins!

10. If you have more emotional clutter than you know how to deal with, see a counselor.
Sometimes you just need to let it out. Counselors can be a great help, and they have been helping me get through my custody issues. Speak to your GP or ask around. Someone you know may know of a great counselor you can see.

So here I go, trying to eliminate the emotional clutter in my head.

Do you struggle with emotional clutter at times?
How do you deal with it?

It's finally Friday so I am flogging my blog over at With Some Grace and Flashing it at Twinkle in the Eye! Get on over and check them out!

My Week in Pictures

Here's a little look into my last week via Instagram. If you have Instagram make sure you follow me @meandmymunchkin!

This was taken first thing in the morning while Munchkin was watching Hi 5 and waiting for his Dad to pick him up for the day.

#photoadayaug Day 6: Writing. I Have been out of school for a few years now, and my head is not coping! I am struggling to understand things so writing plenty of notes!

We had a little time before going for dinner so a trip to the park was totally required!

Oh what a day this was! After a day of tantrums I was stuck waiting in the car for the monster to wake up!

And just to top off this great day I dropped my phone in Master A's bath. Luckily I had just started running it and grabbed it straight out. There wasn't much damage, aside from my sound turning on and off as it pleases!

#photoadayaug Day 7: 8 O'clockI was in bed fairly early this night!

I bought this toy storage for Munchkin on Thursday and spent the afternoon putting it together and sorting his toys into it!

#photoadayaug Day 8: Glasses. A scruffy looking me with my sunglasses on.

#photoadayaug Day 9: Messy. Finishing off Master A's room.

#photoadayaug Day 10: Ring. The first and only ring I have ever bought myself and I love it!

#photoadayaug Day 11: Purple. I spent ages looking for something purple before I came across this on my DVD shelf. I love this movie!

#photoadayaug Day 12: Spoon. This is Master A's cutlery. I picked up a pack of 6 sets of knives, forks and spoons for $2 from Ikea. Bargain!