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Bitter to Bad Ass in 12 Months!

Me and My Munchkin: Bitter to Bad Ass in 12 Months!

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

Bitter to Bad Ass in 12 Months!

After looking at my diary I realized that today marks 12 months since I became a single Mum. Yes I know, I know, not exactly an achievement to be boasting about (how to lose a guy in 10 days, anyone?) but it does mean that I now have 12 months of growing and extreme shocks to the system under my belt.

Look at it this way, 12 months ago I was unhappy, wallowing in self pity and bitterness, balancing on the borderline between depression and auto pilot mode. I was lonely, kidding myself by saying I was ready to move on (and yes, move on is exactly what I did). I was feeling so guilty about leaving my ex, breaking his heart and taking his son away from him. By the way, I should really add that I'm really not a bitch, generally speaking!

Me 12 months ago
I have done so much growing in the last year I hardly recognize that girl anymore. I say girl deliberately. I was not acting like a grown up. I have been forced to grow up now. I no longer have anyone to fall back on. Yes I have support, and it is great. But when it comes to my son, I'm his mother, I'm his primary carer and it is my responsibility to look after his best interests.

I know how excited you all to hear about how different I am today so here it is: I take responsibility for my actions. When I make a decision Master A is the first thing that crosses my mind. After a year long battle with my ex that has turned nasty, I no longer feel guilty, as he shows that he has no respect for me. I became comfortable in my own company, even enjoying it. It was then that I met Mr M. He has added joy to my life, but he hasn't "completed" it. I have finally left the past exactly where it needed to be: In the past! This is something that has taken me 5 years to do. Most of all, I am happy! Of course, I have my days where it all gets too much. Who doesn't? Seriously, do you know anyone that doesn't? But the point is, I am much happier, and grown up since being on my own, and that is what tells me I made the right decision.

Me 12 days ago
Where were you emotionally 12 months ago?
Have you ever looked at your past self and not recognized them?
How about someone you know? Or thought you knew?

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At 10 October 2012 at 14:18 , Blogger Kelly HTandT said...

Good on you Chrissie, it's wonderful to hear that you're feeling like a better person!
12 months ago I was pregnant and trying to decide where to birth my baby. I was scared and feeling let down by the system. But I just needed to talk to the right people, and that I did, leading to a beautiful home birth! As a result I can say I'm much stronger, much more confident, and much more open minded. xx

At 10 October 2012 at 16:45 , Anonymous Kaylene Pomerenke said...

It is so great to hear how far you have come and how you can look back and reflect on the past. Good on you!
12 months ago I had been back at work for 8 months and my little boy was only 14 months old. 12 months on and it feels like I was never on leave and my little boy is growing up so quickly.

At 10 October 2012 at 22:53 , Blogger Tubbah @ Organising: My Crazy Life said...

Wow u r an amazing woman! Even in ur blogging u can see how much you've grown!! i got (i'm assuming ur 22??) 3 years on u and I couldn't even begin to write such powerful posts like u lol.. I'm glad you've grown in such a positive way :)
Now let me see... 12 months ago...
I was a walking milk bottle to my micro sleeper of a newborn son... The last few months of last year were a blur as bubs was a terrible sleeper (woke on the hr every hr and fed for almost an hr..) I spent most of my time trying to find myself and my family again and establish some sort of routine...
I look back at my 'working out of home self' and often think what were you thinking?? I spent more time at work than with my kids. Hows time have changed :)

Thanks for such a great post :) xx

At 10 October 2012 at 22:54 , Blogger Tubbah @ Organising: My Crazy Life said...

How the times have changed **

At 10 October 2012 at 23:08 , Anonymous Deb @ home life simplified said...

So nice to read Chrissie - think about what the next 12 months will bring as well xx

At 10 October 2012 at 23:26 , Blogger Simpe Mummy said...

wonderful to look back and see growth. I was going through a terrible depression this time last year and today i am finally feeling myself again. Self reflection is a wonderful thing. Great post Hun, keep up the happy vibe on your journey :)

At 11 October 2012 at 13:12 , Blogger Chrissie Me and My Munchkin said...

I have found that there is always a solution. Never give up, always trust your gut and try and get as much information on things as you can. You can always get through it. That is great that you have come out more confident and open minded, I'm so proud when I hear of other women's growth!
Chrissie xx

At 11 October 2012 at 13:14 , Blogger Chrissie Me and My Munchkin said...

It really doesn't take long for them to grow up does it? I can't believe it has been 6 months since I first quit work! And already I'm looking for part time work again!
Chrissie xx

At 11 October 2012 at 13:16 , Blogger Chrissie Me and My Munchkin said...

Oh you poor thing! I always felt blessed because Munchkin was such a good sleeper!
And thankyou Lovely! You are making me blush! You're almost right... I'm 23. You are a beautiful person and your comments on the blog (and facebook) always make me feel better :)
Chrissie xx

At 11 October 2012 at 13:17 , Blogger Chrissie Me and My Munchkin said...

Thanks Deb :) I'm looking forward to the next 12 months, especially the next 3-4 months in particular ;)
Chrissie xx

At 11 October 2012 at 13:18 , Blogger Chrissie Me and My Munchkin said...

That is great you have managed to get out of your "funk" and feel better about yourself again. Depression is horrible and I love hearing stories of over coming it.
Chrissie xx

At 12 October 2012 at 02:13 , Anonymous Lanaya @ Raising Reagan said...

It's amazing what having a child will do to you, your self esteem and your self image!
It sounds like it was such a positive experience for you and I'm so happy that you recognize all the wonderful changes you made!
Way to go!!
Thanks for stopping by my Facebook page and I look forward to connecting with you!


Sorry if I show up as no reply :( ~ I'm not on blogger

At 12 October 2012 at 08:07 , Blogger Chrissie Me and My Munchkin said...

It was great that I was able to take such a negative experience and grow from it in such an unbelievable way. Thanks for your lovely words!

I'm also looking forward to connecting with you and having a good old read through your blog!
Chrissie xx

At 13 October 2012 at 00:36 , Blogger Danya Banya said...

What a difference a year makes...

At 18 October 2012 at 20:12 , Blogger Bree @ Twinkle in the Eye said...

Children force our growth and that is a good thing.


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