Letting Go

For those of you who don't know me very well, I am a creature of habit. I also tend to over think and over analyse everything. I have my routines in place and I very rarely like to stray from them, possibly for fear of the unknown, or upsetting anybody. I've come to the realisation that I need to change this habit of mine, as it's becoming a little compulsive. I need to let go.

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When I say that I need to let go, I mean more than just straying from the routines regularly. I need to let go of certain situations and move on with my life. I need to let go of certain ways of thinking, that is possibly toxic to my happiness (and state of mental health).

I have started with something small. I used to carry around a large nappy bag with so much stuff in it. I would have Master A's change of clothes, nappies, wipes, tissues, hat, sunscreen, toys, hand sanitizer, my antihistamines, pain killers, plus more. I had still have a huge fear of being somewhere and needing something and realising that I have left it at home. This big, heavy bag that wouldn't shut would get lugged everywhere, even just to do the grocery shopping.

I have traded this in for a small Thomas the Tank Engine backpack, where I carry a few nappies, wipes, a simple change of clothes, my purse, a book and a small toy which both get changed every couple of days. I am no longer carrying a huge bag, and do you know what? I have not yet needed anything that I didn't have with me at the time. To save my own sanity though I am putting together a car kit that will contain a lot of the other stuff, so that at least it is still accessible when we are out.

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When it comes to certain situations, I need to let go of the fact that I am not going to be single forever. I have had trouble moving on from a past relationship from years ago, and have finally decided that I need to put it behind me and open myself up to other people. I have always had the frame of mind that no one will measure up and it isn't right. It is holding my back from meeting the future man of my dreams and allowing myself to be loved by others.

I need to let go of the idea of the perfect life. I had so many plans for my life 5 years ago. Needless to say, being a single mum certainly didn't make that list of goals and it was not my idea of a perfect life. I am trying to let go of that. In there are obstacles, there are challenges. Nobody is perfect and everyone has flaws.

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Life will not always go to plan, no matter how much I try to plan it and make systems for it. I need to let go of that, or I will have a mental breakdown every time I can't wash my sheets on a Monday. Look at your routines as a guide, a tool for getting through life just that little bit easier. But allow them to be flexible. Allow yourself to be flexible.

Letting go is starting to feel good. I am waiting for the feeling of weight to come off my shoulders, the weight I have been piling on over the last few weeks and to just enjoy life and enjoy the ride.

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I love my life. I love the people in it. Sometimes we just need to let go of trying to control everything and remember to enjoy it.

Do you have trouble letting go?
What do you need to let go of?