Tuesday 30 October 2012

Navigating Girl World

{image source unknown}
How many friends do you have? And how long have you known them? Friends are great. They can egg you on to do that thing you have wanted to do all your life but have been too afraid to do, like travel the world, and they can stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life, like buying that snot-green top that you just walked out of the dressing room wearing.

I love my friends. I've said that before. I have many friends, all in different social circles. I have met them all at different times in my life, in different ways. My best friend in the whole world, for example, I met in primary school. I have another close friend who is my ex boyfriend's sister. Other friends I met online in parenting forums and online mum's groups. 

All of my friends, with the exception of my bestie, have children. You would think that this would mean they would understand when things got a little hectic right?

Wrong.

The last couple of months have been a little... we'll just say chaotic. You have seen a lot of the aftermath on the blog, but just in case you aren't one of my regular readers yet, I'll give you a little summary. I have recently taken on tafe, a casual job, a (relatively new) relationship and have been going through mediation to keep custody of my son. Needless to say, my time (and funds) have been fairly limited. As much as I love my friends, I just can't see everyone at once, and I don't have as much time for everyone as I used to. Unfortunately that has resulted in a bit of bitchiness and de-friending on Facebook.

Like, seriously? De-friending?

When did things get that bad? A forgotten message here and there and a cancelled play date so I can get some study done and I have lost friends? There must be some kind of mistake, right? Well, I don't know. I have seen this all happen before. Granted, I was in high school when this kind of behavior last reared it's ugly head, but sure enough here I am, in my twenties being (ever so slightly) told that "if you don't give up everything for me, then I'm not your best friend anymore". I have never felt so ridiculous in my entire life.

I love watching TV shows of kids in high school. I watched The OC and Laguna Beach through my teen years, and loved the drama and bitchiness that went on between the girls. It meant that what I went through in school was pretty much the norm. Well, it must of been, if it was happening on TV, Yes??? But life went on. I grew up, and although I still love watching both of those shows (my guilty pleasure), I assumed that the bitchiness would stop now that we are older, and mothers.

Boy was I naive.

So I am just going to go about my business I suppose, hoping that I don't lose any more friends along the way. With regards to my other friends, if they bail just because I get a little (OK, a lot!) busy, then they don't deserve to be in the presence of my awesomeness when things start to settle down again!

How often do you see your friends?
Do you still see lots of bitchiness in "girl world"?


Linking up with Twinkle in the Eye and With Some Grace!

Linking up with Jess for IBOT!

48 comments:

  1. True friends will stick by you regardless of how often you see them. I have a best friend who i may go months without seeing or really speaking to but we still catch up and i know she will always be there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I totally agree Melissa, and I'm the first to admit I haven't been totally present lately, however these particular "friends" hadn't been either. It's their loss! That's great you have a friend that you can go months without seeing and just catch up like no time has passed, that's how it is with my best friend and I.
      Chrissie xx

      Delete
  2. I know this kind of behaviour is hurtful but your true friends will stand by you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They definitely will! I just find it ridiculous and childish. But you can't control others, just yourself. And they will not win!
      Chrissie xx

      Delete
  3. I'm in my early 30s.. and the bitchiness/blockage/delete friends is still there...
    Sometimes you just have to brush it off and say fine, I don't need that kind of stress in my life..
    Sometimes you can make all the effort in the world and get nothing back..
    Friends are the ones that phone you, text you, meet up with you no matter how long its been.


    #teamIBOT

    ReplyDelete
  4. That scares me just reading it. Defriending at our age? I don't actually know how old you are but if you are over 25 I think that's idiotic. If you are 17 -24 it's borderline.
    I am bad at calling people - I NEVER do. I email a time to meet up and then in 6 weeks we actually meet up. I see most of my friends either one a month or more likely 4 times a year. And everyone is cool with that.
    But I'm a whole bundle of social dysfunctions and they are cool with that, so maybe I'm not the person to go by.
    Aren't they meant to support you if you are friends?

    ReplyDelete
  5. That sucks. I haven't had anything like that in my friendship groups thankfully, but I know it happens. Sorry to hear. As others have said they're obviously not real friends anyway

    ReplyDelete
  6. every friendship looks different, and growing up, i have found (at the ripe old age of 27!!) that i have lost a lot of friends and gained new ones, due to the busyness of life as you have described and just massive changes.
    At the end of the day... you have to do whats best for you and decide what is worth fighting for and what isn't. I'm not saying thats easy - but life is SO much easier with true friends, the ones who aren't petty and understand its a two way street, and send you a txt just to say hi I'm thinking of you i know you're flat out xx

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm reading this and thinking of the conversation I had with my nine year old before bed. She is just heading into this whole nasty, bitchy world, and I wish that I could save her from it. it's just sad that it doesn't ever end.
    Sorry you're having all this drama. If it was me, I would say they weren't worth it, but only you can make that call. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  8. I find the whole friendship as an adult thing so hard, sorry you have to deal with all this drama, I agree it all seems a bit childish to be de-friending like that

    ReplyDelete
  9. It's times like these you find out who your true friends are. Seriously, high school stuff should stay at high school, what are they thinking?!

    ReplyDelete
  10. When my children were younger, my best friend and I used to live in each other's pockets because we had children of the same age. Then she had another child and our kids went to different schools so we only see each other when our families get together once a month for dinner. We are still good friends, but she spends most of her time with another mum who shares school pickups with her. I'm cool with that, I have my own school mum friends with whom I spend time periodically, and I love that all the people I am friends with are very different from one another.

    So far, I haven't experienced any bitchiness, but have been witness to it, as my friend tells me all about all the shenanigans that go on at her kids' school.

    Seriously, it sounds like you have a lot of people you can count on and the person(s) who defriended you couldn't have been that great of friends to begin with. You'll know a good friend when you go long times without seeing each other and when you catch up, it feels like the conversation just picks up where it left off.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh, Chrissie, that sounds horrible. Honestly, you don't need that shit in your life and you certainly don't need bitchy people like that either.
    Keep doing what you're doing. You're a great gal and you will meet much more like-minded, understanding people soon.
    In the meantime, just get rid of the dead wood. You don't need it, my dear x

    ReplyDelete
  12. These are not 'real' friends. Invest your time in the friends that can see you through thick and thin. They are worth your time and heart.

    ReplyDelete
  13. These people were clearly not your friends, friends are those that just patiently wait for you when you need them to most. Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses lovely

    ReplyDelete
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