Tuesday, 21 August 2012

Why do I Deserve Happiness?

I have re-written this post 3 times now. I just can't seem to find the words to say what I need to. I have been doing a bit of soul searching in the last few months. You may have noticed a bit of a pattern in my posts.

I am so happy with where I actually am in life, and this is a first for me. Sure there are a few things I would like to change, but the changes are on the way. I just need to be patient (totally not my strong suit!)

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I grew up with a low self esteem, I'm not really sure why. I have always thought that I am just not worth it and don't deserve happiness. I have never known what it is that I actually want and I thought I would never be happy until I got to where I wanted to be, so you can see my predicament!

It has taken me over 20 years to realise that I deserve to be happy. I am a good person. Sure, I still have those "I'm a bad Mum/friend/daughter/sister" moments, but they don't take over my life. I still get mother's guilt, but I don't let it make me think I am a bad Mum.

So why do I deserve happiness in my life?

I love my family and friends. I would do anything for them. I drop everything if someone's in trouble, or needs to chat. The same goes for my son. I clothe him, feed him, play with him, and I gave up work to stay at home with him when he was sick (this meant giving up finances, and the chance to get out of debt quicker to get my own place).

I am a good person in general. I will help strangers, I am never rude to people unless they are rude to me. I don't stick my nose into other people's business and I am all round just a friendly person. A bit shy, yes, but friendly.

I will work hard, especially when it's something that I love. My standards for myself are way too high, and I am working on bringing them down.

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I deserve happiness in my life. I am finally realising that, and making sure that I am putting the steps in place to be happy.

Have you ever suffered from a low self esteem?
Why do you deserve to be happy?
It is Tuesday, which means I'm linking up Diary of a SAHM for IBOT!
Make sure you head on over and check out some totally awesome bloggers!
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12 comments:

  1. StationerEleven21 August 2012 at 09:29

    Brilliant post. We call deserve happiness because we are all valuable, living, breathing human beings. Wonderful thing to own and realise!

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin21 August 2012 at 16:19

      Thanks Kathy! I agree we all deserve happiness. Though so many of us don't think that we do. Women especially will always put other's happiness before our own. It's a trap!
      Chrissie xx

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  2. Rhianna 21 August 2012 at 11:47

    I love how you are so actively working on changing your mindset. You are so right you do deserve happiness, we all do. It is lovely to hear that you can now feel it, embrace and most importantly keep allowing it into your life.

    Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin21 August 2012 at 16:20

      Thanks Rhianna, changing my mindset is something I've wanted to do since I was a teenager, but never had the strength to realise that I am important and worth it. We all deserve to be loved, and we all deserve to be happy!
      Chrissie xx

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  3. Tubbah @ Organising: My Crazy Life21 August 2012 at 14:52

    Well written hun! You definitely deserve happiness :) You know, I could've written that post myself, a lot of what you say reminds me of me :)

    I'm hoping to catch up on your blog soon. I've been very quiet on fb recently as fb has blocked me from commenting and liking. It's really pee'd me off. I can sometimes sneak in a comment here and there but very rarely.

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin21 August 2012 at 16:22

      Thanks lovely :) I'm a tad proud of myself for breaking the negative cycle. I still have my moments, but who doesn't?

      I've been quiet on the blog and facebook. Almost caught up on my studies so hopefully I can fall into a workable routine soon and come back to the blog a little more!
      Chrissie xx

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  4. Anonymous21 August 2012 at 17:37

    You definitely deserve happiness and it sounds to me like you have a lot of it around you and in you! Hopefully by changing your mind set you will be able to see it more clearly :)

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin22 August 2012 at 11:26

      Thankyou :) I'm hoping that a change of mind set will do the trick!
      Chrissie xx

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  5. EssentiallyJess21 August 2012 at 20:36

    I think you and I are in a very similar headspace right now. I totally get this.
    I too battle with low self esteem, even though I know that I deserve so much more than I credit myself with.
    Hope you find the light at the end of your tunnel soon.xx

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin22 August 2012 at 11:28

      Jess it can be so hard to realise and admit that we deserve more can't it? I know I think I'm being selfish if I try to do anything for myself, or put my happiness above others. Good luck finding your light too.
      Chrissie xx

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  6. Lisa Wood24 August 2012 at 15:04

    I so can relate to what you are saying/feeling. I feel like I am not worthy of being happy, yet its all I want from life! I dont feel like a good mum most of the time, and I find it really a massively big challenge to accept who I am and what I am.
    I am not sure how or why I feel this way ~ so its good to read about it from other Mums point of view.
    And YES we all deserve to be happy xxx

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin24 August 2012 at 17:25

      I am with you, I love reading blogs and realising that yes, I am human and so many other mums out there are going through similar situations and feelings.
      Chrissie xx

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