Monday, 9 July 2012

Just a Stay at Home Mum

I met a man the other day. Now don't get too excited guys, I was totally unimpressed by his "charm". We were in the middle of a 'getting to know you' conversation, when he asked what I do with my days, and for fun. I had already told him that I don't work, and I am about to start studying, so I proceeded to tell him how my days are filled with entertaining my 21 month old. This includes trips to the playground, play cafes, afternoons on the floor playing with the cars and trains, you know, everything us Mums do to spend time with and keep our kids happy.

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The response I got completely took me by surprise. "I wish my life was that easy, and all I had to do was go to playgrounds and play with cars and trains all day". OK Chrissie, breathe. This is a man with no children, he must not realise that there is actually a lot more to our days than simply playing. 


At this point I had no interest in getting to know this man any further, so rattled off a few of the not so pleasant things that we Mums deal with daily. You know; tantrums, tears, snotty noses, constant demand for attention and entertainment, and forever cleaning up after a tornado. These are all things we Mums do daily, without complaint (most of the time). Again, the response surprised me. "Oh I know all about that. I babysit my sisters kids sometimes". 

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OK, so I give him brownie points for trying to make it sound like he understands, but seriously, not the same. When you give them back after a couple of hours, you really can't understand what its like to play Mummy 24/7. 

So my question is, did I overreact? I wasn't rude, as such. However shortly after that conversation ended I walked away. I feel that although I am "just a stay at home Mum", as some people put it, we still work hard. We have a house to look after, kids to look after, ourselves and usually other adults to look after. I love my Munchkin more than anything in the world, and take all the hard stuff with the good. I am not saying that I want a medal (although that would be kinda nice!) but a little recognition that it's not such an easy job after all isn't too much to ask for, is it?

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Linking up with Twinkle in the Eye for Flash Blog Friday!

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24 comments:

  1. Yvette Bowyer9 July 2012 at 12:06

    Oh!! He definitely isn't ready for a settling down relationships by the sound of it!!!

    I hope you have better 'getting to know you' chats with much nicer and more understanding men in the future! :)

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin9 July 2012 at 13:07

      That was my thought exactly! I may not work in paid employment, but I by no means, simply play every day. I wish!
      Chrissie xx

      Delete
  2. Tutus & Trikes9 July 2012 at 19:39

    No way defineately not an over reaction! I may have gotten up to use the loo (and not return) after the question lol! I have a 3.5 year old and 18 month old and it is truly 24/7 here too, including overnight breastfeeding, so "babysitting" just doesnt compare. You'll find a man tat appreciates you and the hard work u do as a mummy and a partner, and u deserve it we all do. When my husband says 'wow u do a great job I know I couldn't I kinda puff my chest up a bit so to speak, but so we should as mum's! Strive high and you'll find the best!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin9 July 2012 at 20:07

      Oh good I feel a little better now! I swear there has to be a man that realises the work we put in as mothers, doesn't there? Munchkin's dad sure doesn't! So I am yet to experience one. Hold on to that hubby of yours, he's definitely a keeper!
      Chrissie xx

      Delete
  3. Anonymous9 July 2012 at 22:42

    Arrr, that makes my blood boil! That's 'just' the attitude my Ex had!

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin10 July 2012 at 07:46

      My ex still thinks this is of me. Especially because I live with my parents, he thinks I get all the help in the world, because when he moved into his mums after we separated, his mum used to do everything (including getting up with Master A in the morning so he could sleep in).

      When I left work I was told I was being selfish, because I'm not earning good money to look after our son. Instead I'm taking the easy road. Men just don't get it sometimes do they?
      Chrissie xx

      Delete
  4. bloggingmumof310 July 2012 at 13:05

    i am just a stay at home mum too. and yeh i love that i can go to parks, friends houses etc but in all honesty working as a director of a day care centre was easier in that once i got home that was it. i could fall asleep when i wanted, go to the shop when i wanted, sleep at any time, not constantly worry ...where are my kids are they on the roof again

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin10 July 2012 at 15:50

      It really is a full time job, and it is demanding. There are no sick days, or personal days. If anything happens, we still need to put a smile on our face, deal with the tantrums, the fights, the sickness, all of it. It is the most rewarding, though hardest thing I have ever done.
      Chrissie xx

      Delete
  5. Ronnie11 July 2012 at 22:12

    I almost laughed out loud at that man's words! No, you did not overreact. My husband and I both agree that looking after our kids is the hardest part of our days....
    Your blog is so lovely Chrissie. Thanks for visiting mine, so that I could find yours!
    Ronnie xo

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    Replies
    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin12 July 2012 at 07:46

      Thank you so much your comment just made my day! And I want to thank you for your post on blog organising. I am planning on putting it into action over the weekend :)

      Now I look back and laugh at what he said, though at the time I was fuming! I wish my days were that easy too!
      Chrissie xx

      Delete
  6. Anonymous13 July 2012 at 16:18

    Unfortunatley that is a reflection of a lot of attitudes. My husband found our little puppy demanding when we brought him home, he's now a little terrified (to say the least) of how exhausting fatherhood will be when we have kids. I guess nothing but pure life experience can teach you that one!

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin16 July 2012 at 08:45

      I agree, nobody can truly know what the real deal is with parenting except parents. That said I think he should've kept those thoughts to himself!
      Chrissie xx

      Delete
  7. Kelly @ Handmade Tears and Triumphs13 July 2012 at 20:41

    No, you didn't overreact. It's hard not to react to ignorance like that. I alternate between staying at home and working (my policy is one year on, one year off lol) and I honestly think staying home is harder. I take my hat off to mother's who stay at home permanently, hardest full time job there is. And I constantly have the "babysitting sometimes doesn't mean you get it!" argument :)

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin16 July 2012 at 08:47

      It really is hard work sometimes. I think that I did actually have it a bit easier when I was working sometimes! I think you have the right idea, 1 year on, 1 year off. Great idea!
      Chrissie xx

      Delete
  8. Bree @ Twinkle in the Eye14 July 2012 at 11:32

    You are right it is hard for people to understand when they have never experienced 24/7 parenting. For SAHM's and single mum's it is that much harder. I we all deserve medals!

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin16 July 2012 at 08:50

      I think that working mums definitely have a hard job too. They have to try and fit everything in amongst work and family balance, along with missing out on certain things because of work commitments. No matter what we are doing, we all deserve medals. We all work so hard to raise our families, whether we do it full time or share it with paid employment.
      Chrissie xx

      Delete
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