Thursday, 30 August 2012

Father's Day for the Solo Parent

Father's day is coming up, which for lots of fathers means a hot breakfast in bed, accompanied by some kind of power tool gift, or perhaps just some socks and jocks. Mother's day can be very much the same (if we're lucky!) but with some kind of new kitchen appliance or a new pair of uggies.

Solo parents means all rules are thrown out when it comes to Mother's and Fathers days. If the other parent is still even around, you need to decide whether you will do gifts, and how much you will spend.

We are about to come up to the 12 month mark of when Master A's dad and I split up. We split about 2 weeks before his dad's birthday, so I was happy to buy a copy of the new Big Bang Theory season on DVD for him. For Christmas we exchanged small gifts and agreed to keep exchanging gifts "from Master A" for things like birthdays, Mothers and Fathers days and Christmas.

I wanted to keep this up, to teach Master A about the importance of giving, and that Mummy and Daddy can still be friendly and do the right thing.

My birthday came next, and my present was nowhere to be seen. It came about 4 weeks later. Yes, I was a little annoyed seeing as I did make an effort to ensure I did the right thing and on time!

My birthday present from Munchkin this year. 4 weeks late but an awesome present! How did he know?
Mother's day came around, and I got a card. Nothing more, nothing less. It was at this point that I told my ex I would no longer participate in gift-giving. If he wanted a gift from Master A, his mother could organise it, and I knew that my Mum would do the same thing for me.

My cards for Mother's Day, including a handmade one from Daycare. Love this boy so much!
Now that Father's day is only a few days away, I have decided that my original wish of teaching Master A the nice thing to do is more important. I have bought a card, gone through hell to get Master A to do a painting for him, and will be heading to JB Hifi tomorrow to get a small value gift card to give him.


I must say that the thought that I am going to look like the bigger person is making me feel a little better about it (yes I know, vein!) but I have come to the conclusion that one of us has to teach Munchkin the right thing to do. It's a small present that hasn't cost me much, and I'm sure he will get a much nicer gift from his girlfriend's child, but it sends the correct message to Master A, and that is the most important thing.

Its Friday so I'm linking up with Bree over at Twinkle in the Eye for Flash Blog Friday...



...And Grace over at With Some Grace for Flash Yo Blog Friday!




Head on over to both and check out some awesome bloggers!

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24 comments:

  1. Life Love and Hiccups30 August 2012 at 20:52

    Chrissie you can so hold your head high - you are setting such a wonderful example to your little munchkin and you should feel damn good about yourself hun xx

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin31 August 2012 at 07:22

      Thanks Lovely :) Holidays and special days can be such a hard thing to navigate in a co-parenting relationship, as I'm finding out! I need all the help I can get!
      Chrissie xx

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  2. Kel30 August 2012 at 22:03

    Good on you for being the better person. Your son is lucky to have such a good role model in his life x

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin8 September 2012 at 10:48

      Thanks Kelly! You really know how to make someone feel special :)
      Chrissie xx

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  3. Lisa Wood31 August 2012 at 00:14

    good on you, doing the right thing by your son is all that matters! And maybe you could get yourself a gift too...after all you are filling both shoes (mum/dad) most days.
    Hope you have a great weekend with your son xx

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin31 August 2012 at 07:23

      Thanks Lisa! I'm hoping I'll win big at my first time at the races tomorrow so I can treat myself!
      Chrissie xx

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  4. Unknown31 August 2012 at 08:50

    Such a great example you are setting! I do the same, we make a big deal about these days and Darby loves it! I suppose I make a little joke of it, by buying my ex jocks and socks, its a bit weird, but we have a giggle and move on!
    Very proud of you to keep on doing this.. munchkin will appreciate this so much down the track
    xxxxx

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin31 August 2012 at 15:24

      It's hard, seeing as he can't make the effort to do the same, but that little sense of satisfaction I get makes all the difference ;) I know that Master A will love this when he's old enough to understand what it means.
      Chrissie xx

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  5. The Kids Are All Right31 August 2012 at 10:12

    Good for you Chrissie. I think you should keep it up for the rest of your boy's childhood. It's about your boy, not your ex :)

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin8 September 2012 at 10:49

      Exactly, and though deep down I wanna grow "screw him, he doesn't deserve it" Master A will love it when he really understands.
      Chrissie xx

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  6. Catherine Rodie31 August 2012 at 13:11

    You are a wonderful person x

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  7. Anonymous31 August 2012 at 14:46

    In my humble opinion, you're doing the right thing and teaching the right behaviour

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin31 August 2012 at 15:26

      That really is the most important thing. One of us has to, and I guess that's me!
      Chrissie xx

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  8. Mumabulous31 August 2012 at 14:48

    Good on you for putting the interest of your lovely little boy first! Also keep in mind that males are bloody hopeless at keeping track of occasions like birthdays and organizing gifts. That is what they have partners for. Dadabulous cant even remember his own birthday.
    PS you ARE one of the beautiful girls - you just dont know it yet!
    Do something nice for yourself this weekend.
    Love Mumabulous

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin31 August 2012 at 15:27

      Thanks so much Hun, I know how hopeless they can be. I just figured if he could remember a card a bunch of flowers isn't that hard, especially considering if the shoe had been on the other foot, he'd have cut off my head for forgetting!
      Chrissie xx

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  9. Grace31 August 2012 at 19:35

    I think you're doing a fabulous thing. And yes, like Sonia said, it's you who'll be setting a good example for your boy.
    Big hugs xxx

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin6 September 2012 at 12:32

      Thanks Hun, it turned out well, I got a simple thanks via email which is more than I was expecting! Chrissie xx

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  10. Ronnie2 September 2012 at 08:50

    Thanks so much sharing this honest post with us, I found it helpful and insightful.
    So wonderful that you are putting your little boy first, even though it must hurt and be hard for you.
    Hugs,
    Ronnie xo

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin6 September 2012 at 12:36

      It actually felt pretty good! (Like I said, vanity) But at the same time I felt a bit spiteful, like why should I give him gifts if he can't be bothered. But we got there in the end!
      Chrissie xx

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  11. Bree @ Twinkle in the Eye3 September 2012 at 19:32

    You are so right to set the good example. This is about your munchkin learning important lessons about graciousness.

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    1. Chrissie Me and My Munchkin8 September 2012 at 10:50

      Exactly, and like I said earlier, one of us has to do it.
      Chrissie xx

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  12. Tubbah @ Organising: My Crazy Life7 September 2012 at 11:30

    Good on u hun! ur setting a great example for ur son and thats all that matters. :) xx

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